01 December 2009

You might be an American Evangelical if...

You might be an American Evangelical if:

10. T-shirts with Christian catch-phrases are a part of your evangelism strategy.

9. Your car is equipped with the ever-popular license plate frame that reads, "In case of rapture, the car is yours!"

8. You're convinced Jesus was a Republican.

7. Tim LaHaye's Left Behind book series is gospel truth.

6. Your favorite authors are Stormie Omartian and Joel Osteen.

5. Anyone who disagrees with you has taken the wide path.

4. You're convinced Sarah Palin has a bright future as a political candidate.

3. Your notion of God's purpose for your life happens to correspond nicely with upper middle-class suburban life.

2. You can't fit anymore music on your ipod because it's full of songs by John Tesh and Michael W. Smith.

1. You feel this post is alienating and abrasive, and your first inclination is to unsubscribe from this blog.

With acknowledgements to Christians in Context: from orthodoxy to orthopraxy.: Top Ten Marks of a Mainline Evangelical.


Tauratinswe said...

Unfortunately, this too accurately describes many American "Christians." I put the quotes because for many, Christianity is defined by cultural/political norms rather than by the complete Biblical text. (There's a project by a guy rewriting the Bible to make it less "liberal" and more in line with right-wing political/economic positions.)

Magotty Man said...

Hew! I couldn't tick a single one! I'm still safe...

jams o donnell said...

Hmm I have an "Evolve" fish badge on my car. I am going to hell!

Steve Hayes said...


Yes, I'd heard about that project -- bring the Bible into line with American Civil Religion. But they still say, "Tradition? We don't want no steenking tradition."

Steve Hayes said...


As long as you stay north of the border you are safe -- for now.

Jarred said...

First let me say that this is a funny list.

However, having some evangelical Christians friends here in the U.S., I'd like to point out that this list really only applies to a certain kind of American evangelical. I know quite a few American evangelicals that would not fit most (if any -- I can't speak to the music they have on their iPod, for example) of these points.

Of course, most of them would find this list rather humorous, too. Except for the fact that they know just how many of their colleagues fit this description.


Related Posts with Thumbnails