How are you?

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by phone calls from people you don't know, where the caller's first words are "How are you?" or else the caller wants to know who's speaking.

a million miles from normal: The abominable sales call:

"Cell phone rings. I don't recognise the number. I answer:

ME: Hello, Paige speaking.
STRANGER'S VOICE: Hello, how are you?
ME: I'm not interested.

I want to know who wrote 'The Sales Call Manual' that all tele-sales people are working from these days?

And here's another blogger who's had enough of it MTHOKO SAYS...: Let's blow the whistle on crank callers!:

I am talking about the bully that calls you with (usually with a hidden caller I.D) and wants to know who he is speaking to. A polite reminder that the caller should be the one stating who he is and who he wants to talk to, often leads to a shockingly rude, arrogant and bossy attitude from such callers. I have had to waste many minutes of my precious time, lecturing these buffoons on the basics of telephone etiquette. Instead of being grateful and turning over a new leaf, my small attempts at civilising them seem to conjure up more aggression. It is then that I wish that my whistle was nearby.

My usual response to callers who introduce themselves by saying "How are you?" or "Who's speaking?" is "Who wants to know?" But many of them appear not to understand the question.

For the "How are you?" types, I think what is needed is a kind of written sales spiel, such as the one those callers use, to be kept next to the telephone, giving a long list of medical conditions and treatments for them, that one can read off without giving them a chance to get a word in edgeways.

Something like this:

You know, I'm so glad you asked that question. As I was saying to my friend Joe the other day when we were standing in line for our prescriptions at the chemist the other day -- have you noticed that the queues seem to be getting longer and longer? -- my doctor said that my red cell count was too low and my blood glucose was too high, and he tested it and said it was 9,3, asnd that I must eat more iron. What does he expect me to do, suck the fence or something? But the fences are usually galvanised, and I'm not sure if that gives you balanced zinc in your diet..."

Anyone got a good script for me?